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Candlelight dinners, sweet gifts, and soft music are some things people do to initiate intimate relations. But can exercise work just as well and contribute to a healthy sex life? According to the American Council on Exercise it can. Heating your sex life can be accomplished through maintaining a good exercise regimen improving sexual function in both men and women. Exercise is not only a physical but mental activity much like sex is. Exercise can enhanced sexuality because of the benefits gained in muscle strength, endurance, and cardiovascular functioning. Increased performance of blood flow and increased levels of testosterone levels all lead to a robust and energetic sex life. Studies published in the Electronic Journal of Human Sexuality conclude that people who regularly exercise have a better perception of themselves, and are more confident in their physical abilities, and find themselves more sexually attractive which all add to feelings of competency in love making. They also experience higher levels of satisfaction or may feel more sexually desirable to the opposite sex.

For men, a good healthy body contributes to a good healthy erection and reduction of the risks for impotency. Adding years to a man’s life, exercise increases blood flow allowing for better erections with a more than 30 percent lower risk of impotence than men who do not regularly exercise. Because good circulation is necessary for good sexual functioning, it stands to reason that performance is enhanced with better circulation and increased blood flow to organs used when having sex. On the other hand, men who are obese or overweight have mental and physical limitations that interfere with the positive affects of good circulation. They may feel less adequate when having sex, or experience difficulty with the physical demands of sexual activity. Slimming down is a great ego boost, and it gets some of the “extra baggage” out of the way.

For women, a good exercise program could have a positive effect on their sex loves with increase enthusiasm, cardio, and muscular endurance as well. Females may find that they are able to hold positions for longer periods of time and enjoy longer lasting sex and greater comfort. Greater comfort during sex and increased endurance has the possibility of better ability to achieve orgasms for women who have a problem achieving satisfying orgasms. Conditioning of the body and its muscle groups allow for greater flexibility, making the sexual activity more enjoyable as you are able to try new things that might not have been possible before. I’ll let you use your imagination for this one.

Boosting your sex life with physical activity is boosting your overall general health and the healthier you are the better your sex life can be. The psychological benefits such as improved self esteem, good mood, and increased confidence along with stress reduction benefits are immediately noticeable. The more your health and physical abilities improve the better your sex life can be. Simple exercises like walking briskly at least two miles per day can reap wonderful benefits in the bedroom. So just imagine the benefits you could gain from an overall exercise regime. So, getting healthy and staying healthy only has more benefits than you might have originally though.

If you are really interested in getting fit, you should look into a membership at your local gym. You can use their cardio machines and weight machines to gain considerable stamina and muscle mass. You may even skip the gym membership, and go for a run every day. This will get you in great shape as well, it just depends on how much you want to get into the whole fitness thing. Being fit has hundreds of benefits, and better sex is just one of them. So as soon as you can, start doing more research related to how you can get fit, and how it will help you in life.

Sex toys are a perfect way to have fun and bring in the much-needed excitement into your love life. It is primarily an object or a device that facilitates human sexual pleasure in an individual. This term can also include BDSM apparatuses. Sex toys are popular among people from all over the world. Many have discovered sex toys as a way of enhancing a sex life.

Sex toys are designed to resemble human genitals and are basically classified as vibrating or non-vibrating.

Do you need a sex toy to enhance sexual pleasure?

Well, sound like an interesting question, isn’t it? That’s no surprise that we live in a society where sexual pleasure and guilt are firmly linked to each other. People want to enhance their sexual relationship especially where non-procreative sex like using sex toys, is concerned.

·Sex toys are a great way to add the much needed pleasure for your sexual life.

·It offers a unique opportunity to explore our bodies in new and exciting ways.

·Sex toys enhance the much-needed confidence in a person that helps him while having natural sex.

·Sex Toys can help a person explore more ways of sexual intimacy. You can learn about your individual sexual desires, new erogenous zones and a new found confidence during sex through the use of sex toys.

·Sex toys can be a great source of stress relief. It can help you overcome sexual arousement to a great extent especially if you are single.

Online Sex Toys store

The increasing demand of sex toys among people has created a massive demand for the same all over the world. Today one can find millions of sex toys store on the web so much so that it is difficult to select the best one of the lot. The days of hesitancy have disappeared. Today people have become more confident to buy sex toys from an online store.

Sex toys are turning out to be a necessity among most men and women all over the world. People are becoming more aware of their sexual relationship. This awareness has increased the demand of all types of sex toys to meet different sexual requirements.

Here we are going to give you some tips for better sex.

These lovemaking tips are guaranteed to enhance your sex life and lead to great sex, for both you and your partner.

Let’s take a look at how to achieve better sex and enjoy great sex, with some simple tips anyone can do.

1. Breathing

Correct breathing can greatly enhance your sex life and lead to better sex and its easy to learn how to breathe deeply – It will relax you and increase sexual satisfaction.

A simple tip is :

!

During intercourse learn to synchronise your breathing with your partners. This is a great way of feeling a total connection and union with your partner.

When you do it, it can lead to fantastic, mind blowing orgasms.

2. The art of foreplay

You should always have plenty of foreplay before sexual intercourse and it provides the following:

- It will relax both you and your partner.

- It’s fun.

- It will make orgasm more satisfying when you are “warmed up” for sexual union and intercourse.

It’s a known fact that most women find foreplay essential for orgasm and it also applies to men as well.

3. Target the less obvious erogenous zones

We all know the obvious ones, but there are many others you can explore and you should do so.

Consider these as examples:

The neck, this is one of the most significant erogenous zones for women and a kiss, lick or nibble on the neck, is one of the best ways to turn a women on and men love it to.

Other great erogenous zones are the hair and scalp – Stroking, tugging or running your hands over the scalp, is extremely erotic for both men and women.

Finally, don’t forget kissing!

In a recent poll 90% of both men and women wanted more kissing from their partner.

It’s not just for teenagers! We communicate with our mouths and a passionate kiss is one of the best ways to show love and affection for both men and women.

4. Learn the art of massage

If you want to enjoy better sex then you need to learn the art of massage and its not difficult.

All you need are some sensual oils and massage the shoulders, back and base of the spine.

There are many oil that are sensuous, relaxing and it’s a proven fact we enjoy sex more when we are relaxed.

We then can concentrate on just sex and free our minds and massage with oils helps achieve this.

5. Communication

We all have things we like and don’t like about sex, just as we do in all aspects of life.

So what?

Well, unless you communicate with your partner and vice versa, you will never reach sexual harmony.

Speak frankly and openly, don’t make judgements on what your partner may want and tell her not to in reverse.

Your adults and adults should be able to talk freely about sex and not be judged.

If you communicate you will know what your partner wants and what you want and enjoy better sex.

6. Talk

Talk during sex! Sex is communication.

Let your partner know how much you want them and how much you are enjoying yourself.

We all like appreciation for our efforts and sex is no exception, if we feel we are pleasing our partners it turns us on even more.

7. Variety & Surprise

If sex is the same every time then it becomes boring, so add variety to your sex life.

There is plenty to learn and practice (and practice can be fun) we all love surprises and sex is no exception.

8. Whatever you do remember …

To do it with passion and desire. Show your partner you want them and they will love you for it.

Sex will not always be perfect but thats not the point!

You may come early, you may not orgasm at all, but do you know what?

Your partner will be understanding, if they know you desire, want and love them.

As my mother once said “if you don’t do it with a good heart don’t do it at all” (she wasn’t referring to sex but its true!) – Show passion, love and desire, follow the tips above and not only will you enjoy better sex – You will enjoy great sex.

Father Dave’s Sex Talk

a sermon on the Song of Songs

OK guys. It’s time for Father Dave’s sex talk! It comes once every three years, when the passage from the Song of Songs appears in the lectionary.

When you were in school, you used to get this talk every year. If you were in a Christian Youth Group, you probably got this talk every week! Most of us here are now

significantly older though, and once every three years seems about right.

Either way, let me begin with my favourite love poem:

I wonder by my troth what thou and I did till we loved?

Were we not weaned till then?

But sucked on country pleasures childishly,

Or snorted we in the seven sleepers den?

Twas so, but this all pleasures fancy be.

If ever any beauty I did see, which I desired and got,

Twas but a dream of thee!

Yes, it’s John Donne (in The Good Morrow), eulogising about the joys of waking up alongside your lover. Now let me now read you my favourite Biblical love poem:

The voice of my beloved!

Look, he comes, leaping upon the mountains, bounding over the hills.

My beloved is like a gazelle or a young stag.

Look, there he stands behind our wall, gazing in at the windows, looking through the lattice

My beloved speaks and says to me:

“Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away; for now the winter is past,

the rain is over and gone. The flowers appear on the earth;

the time of singing has come, and the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land.

The fig tree puts forth its figs, and the vines are in blossom; they give forth fragrance.

Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away.”

It’s from the Biblical book, ‘The Song of Songs’, otherwise known as ‘The Song of Solomon’, and it shares the same theme as the earlier poem. It might not have the same

lyrical quality to it as Donne’s work of course, but remember that it’s translated from the Hebrew, and probably loses a lot in the translation. The theme, at any rate, is much

the same: Spring has come, love is in the air, and the time has come to sneak away for a romp in the woods!

That much is clear. What is not clear is what this is doing in the Bible! That is a question that students of the Bible have been asking for thousands of years! The other big

question for me is why the compilers of the lectionary chose to schedule this reading for Fathers Day! Well, maybe that was an accident, but the bigger question is not so

easy to solve:

Jewish Rabbis were debating the place of the Song of Songs in the Scriptures way back at the Council of Jamnia back in AD 90!

In the year 553 Theodore of Mopsuestia questioned the place of the Song in the Scriptures and was opposed by the second council of Constantinople.

1000 years later, in 1553 Sebastian Castellio was forced to leave Geneva after arguing with Calvin that the Song should not remain in the Bible.

At the very least we must admit that this ‘Song’ doesn’t fit the normal Biblical mould.

The Song never mentions God.

It reads as being positively bawdy at points!

Most disturbing of all, for good middle-class church-going people, the lovers in this Song don’t appear to be married! If they were, why would they need to sneak away for a

romp?

We people of the book, over the generations, have consistently found this Song of Songs to be a source of embarrassment. And frankly, more embarrassing still, from my

point of view, than the book itself have been those who have sought to defend it, always on the basis of allegorization.

The early Jewish Rabbis took the Song to be an allegory of the love between the Lord and Israel. Likewise, most Christians who defended the book regarded it as a song of

love between Christ and His church.

This allegorical approach was standard from the medieval period right through the Reformation:

The man is taken to be Christ. The woman is the church. His kisses (1:2) are the Word of God, the girl’s dark skin (1:5) is sin, her breasts (7:7) are the church’s nurturing

doctrine, and her two sweet lips (4:11) are law and gospel! (no doubt the top lip was sweeter than the bottom!)

The most curious part of the historical allegory, I think, has been the popular identification, made originally by St Ambrose, of the woman with the virgin Mary! Not only is

there no independent reason to think that the women in this Song is Mary, but the woman in question is certainly no virgin!

Most modern scholars regard the allegorical interpretation is indefensible, which brings us back to our original question: what is this book doing in the Bible?

The only possible answer, I think, is that the Bible appreciates love more than we do, or at least, the Bible has a more relaxed attitude towards love and human sexuality

than the church has had historically. For let’s be honest: the historic church of Christ has not generally exhibited a very positive view of human sexuality over the ages!

My belief is that this has been largely due to our dualistic Greek philosophical heritage, where the body is divided from the spirit, and where all things physical are seen as

being unspiritual, most especially human sexual desire, which is a further hankering after the physical!

In this Greek understanding ‘chastity’ is equivalent to ‘purity’. Hence celibacy is extolled as a spiritual virtue. Sex is seen as a necessary evil, for the purpose of procreation.

As one early Christian leader put it, ‘the good thing about sex is that it produces more monks and nuns’.

At the risk of offending some of our Catholic brethren, I personally believe that this is the line of thought behind the doctrine of the perpetual virginity of the Mary!

If you follow the logic, Mary could only bear Jesus because she was ‘pure’, and her purity is seen as tied up with her virginity. As adoration of Mary grew over the ages, it

came to be seen as perpetually pure, and hence it followed that she must have continued to be a virgin, despite the fact that Jesus’ brothers and sisters are referenced in

the New Testament!

Indeed, if you follow Christian tradition, you will find that Mary’s mother, a woman supposedly named, ‘Anne’ herself came to be regarded as being a virgin at the time of

Mary’s birth! This idea arose in the 4th century and was revived in the 15th century, and though the Vatican renounced the idea as ridiculous in the year 1677, they retained

the belief that Mary herself was born to Anne via an immaculate conception!

This is a long way from the attitude we see in the Song, and I’d suggest that the attitude of the Song towards sex more truly mirrors the overall Biblical perspective than

does Christian history.

Broadly speaking, I would suggest to you that the Bible has very little to say about sex! Despite all opinion to the contrary, and despite the fact that sex is a very significant

subject for us, I would suggest to you that the it is not a very significant subject for the Bible.

Yes, Jesus had a couple of things to say on the matter, and yes, there are warnings scattered about the Bible, telling us that we need to be careful about where our sexual

drives might lead us. But this is pretty minor stuff really, especially when we consider how significant sex is in other religions, most especially the other religions that were

popular when the Bible was being written!

From the early Canaanite fertility cults we read about in the Old Testament, to the worship of Aphrodite in the New, sex was seen as a divine force. Much new age

spirituality has likewise latched on to ‘sacred sex’ rituals in Hindu tradition and elsewhere.

At the other end of the spectrum, as we’ve already mentioned, you had the influence of Greek dualism. This was has been more influential on the history of the church, but

its influence is equally absent from the Biblical texts themselves, where you will never find human sexuality written about as an evil, demonic force.

While historically religions have latched on to sex as a mighty spiritual power, positive or negative, our Bible takes neither course! It simply leaves sex as a human reality.

Like anger, which is seen as a powerful human force, that when properly utilised can drive us towards justice, so sex is seen as a powerful human force, that when properly

utilised can do much good. And like anger, when it runs out of control, it can do much damage. As Fred Buechner put it, sex is like nitro-glycerine ‘it can be used to heal

hearts or to blow up bridges.’

This is the first thing that needs to be said about a Biblical perspective on sex – namely, that the Bible sees sex simply as a human drive that – a drive that, like anger, can

easily lead us into sin, bur which can also be a very creative dimension of human life. The other thing that must be said of the Bible on this subject is that it always links

intimacy with commitment.

This is true in all relationships. To quote our friend Morde Vanunu, ‘to know is to be responsible‘. This applies in social and political life, yes, but it is equally the rule in

personal relationships. The closer you are to somebody, the more you know them, the more capable you are of hurting them, and so the more responsible you are for them,

and the more committed you need to be to them. Knowledge brings with it responsibility. Intimacy, if it is not to be damaging, must always involve commitment. And

complete intimacy means total commitment.

I won’t say more on this now, but would encourage you to think this through further for yourself, for I do believe that this is the key to understanding sex and relationships

from a Biblical perspective. Sex, Biblically speaking, is not fundamentally about procreation, from my reading of the Scriptures, but about being close to someone. Good sex

is about sharing a closeness that nurtures and strengthens another person. Illicit sex is intimacy without commitment, knowledge without responsibility. From a spiritual

perspective, this sort of sex is just a form of abuse.

Well, that’s it for Father Dave’s sex talk for another three years. It’s not really a sex talk though is it. It’s as discussion of spirituality and relationships. It’s more about

religion than sex, and this is as it should be.

It may be instructive to consider word ‘religion’ itself. It comes from the Latin word ‘religio’, meaning, ‘to bind back’. ‘Religion’ is the process through which we bind

ourselves back – back to our creator and back to who we are. From a Christian perspective, we this binding back process is always a process of love. Romantic love is not

the whole of love, but it is a dimension of love that the Bible celebrates.

I read that In Bonn, in Germany, a German group of psychologists, physicians and insurance companies cooperated on a research project, designed to find the secret to

long life and success, and that they made a surprising discovery!

Kiss your partner each morning when you leave for work! The German researchers discovered that partners who kiss each other every morning have fewer automobile

accidents on their way to work than those who omit the morning kiss. The kissers miss less work because of sickness and earn 20 to 30 percent more money than

non-kissers.

Sex, love, romance, friendship, affection, warmt – these are good gifts of God to be enjoyed. It is not for all of us to enjoy all of them, nor for any of us to enjoy any of them all

of the time. But when a good relationship is given to us, we should be able to celebrate it in Song!

You sexual life is at deadlock? Do not forget that the main foe in sexual life is boredom. Investigae new arreas, experiment with new things. And there’s no need to obligatory go to sex shop. Just look thoroughly across your house. We’ve asked some sex experts to create toys from the things that can be found at home, and once tested, we can assure you that they greatly makes mood up (and not only mood!).

Let’s elevate the passion to a new level. You can bring a salt into tedious sex activities if you elevate it a bit higher using a chair, sofa or TV stand (TV itself can be also used). Let your girl hang her buttocks down the furniture item and let the mirracle begin! Now you can switch positions and enjoy sex activity without much movements.

Wax stimulators. Candles are the main weakness of a female sex. Inexpensive and beautiful candles are a perfect home sex stimulator. Allow your girl to drop some wax on your chest to show you how brave you are. But do not allow her to dripple your penis, as it’s well known that hot stuff may cause you troubles!

Cycle chains. To create a sado-maso atmosphere, you can use velocycle chains (remove the oil first). One chain can be hooked to the bed and put a couple of chains near to fasten yourself and your beloved. The sensations can be diverified by putting one chain in a cold water and another in a hot water for half an hour – and then move them along the body by turn. The change of sensations will produce an original thrill, and doesn’t cost any money.

Delicious pants. This is one of the easiest things for homemade sex toy. You’ll like them best of all if you do them by yourself, because it is you who makes the choice of a taste. The simpliest material for panties turned to be a canned ham. Salami and turkey stuck fine, but only when the pieces were big enough. Roastbeaf breaks fast, and a meat bread looked not very attractive. For sweet teeth I would recommend fruit rolls with different tastes. Your partner will appreciate your choice.

There are so many things and food that can be used to bring sexual pleasure to both partners.

Read more about homemade sex toys and see their demonstration here

There are lots of online line sex tip resources that list sex tips, but usually they seem a bit lame sex tips, or you’ve done them, there not naughty enough, you don’t fancy them and they don’t turn you on, or it’s illegal in this country.

We aim to bridge this gap with a communal sex tips community and mailing service whereby anyone can add a sex tip to the database. Each sex tip submitted should be adaptable to cater for Beginner couples, Randy couples and the Outrageously Naughty couples.

Anyone wanting to receive the naughty sex tips on a biweekly basis should join the Sex Toy Testers Sex Tips mailing list at the link at the bottom. A new sex tip will be emailed to you every fortnight on Friday, just in time to lives up your weekend.

The naughty sex tip will arrive with suggestions for all three categories, and you can choose which most appeals to you. Because one week you may like the beginners couples sex tip and a month later you may fancy trying an outrageously naughty sex tip and really have sex swinging from the chandelles! Pick and choose what ever takes your fancy, and if none appeal, write to us and tell us why and maybe submit a tip of your own.

The sex tips mailing service is completely free and you can unsubscribe at any time. The first sex tip will be sent out on Friday the 6th of January 2007, so spicing up your sex life could be your new years resolution. Why not sign up today, and while your about it, tell us a top trick that you and your lover used which really hotted up the moment and got you both going. Don’t worry, we would never reveal your identity.

Get involved, receive free sex tips and spice up your sex life.

We conducted a survey among 500 men and women and asked them what their favorite sexual position was. these were the answers we got. For men, first favorite was rear entry with both partners kneeling; second was woman on top, facing forwards; third was man on top; and fourth was side by side, facing each other, with the partners’ legs wrapped around each other. Women expressed a different set of preferences! Their favorites were, in order: first, woman on top, facing the man; next, woman on top, facing away from the man; third, spooning (which means cuddling with the man behind the woman both facing the same way); fourth favorite was rear entry kneeling; and fifth was the man on top position with the woman’s legs around the man’s back.

You’ll have noticed the surprising thing here is that man on top is not number one on either the men’s or the women’s list of preferences, yet we know that more couples have more sex in the man on top position than any other. So why do men and women say that they prefer rear entry, woman on top and spooning to man on top sex positions?

I think the answer is perhaps that most couples really like the man on top position, but they think it might seem a bit boring or conventional, so their answers to the question “Which sex position do you prefer?” really reflects the positions which they fantasize about or think are more exciting!

But there aren’t really any surprises in the positions men say they prefer. Certainly, we’d all expect rear entry to be high on men’s list of favorites. It’s a position which most men find irresistible, with a very arousing view of one’s partner inviting one to make love with abandon, in a raw, powerful, masculine style. Since most men like to see the “ins and outs” of lovemaking, so to speak, this position is very exciting and often arouses men so much that they cannot last particularly long! This may make the position rather less than satisfying for women, although when a couple are enjoying rear entry sex, a woman does have the opportunity to show the powerful side of her sexual nature, and she can make love with lust and passion. It’s only likely to be unappealing for a woman if she has issues with her body, or she thinks her man will see her body at its worst when she’s exposed to his gaze like this. (A note for women readers – your man probably cares a lot less about the appearance of your naked body than you do…he’s about to make love with you, for one thing, and he probably isn’t paying much attention to the bits you find unattractive!) Another advantage of this position is that it makes for the deepest penetration possible, which is another deeply satisfying experience for most men. Unfortunately a rather large number of women feel that the rear entry position makes them into a sex object, which in a way is understandable, since of all the sex positions, this is one where men are likely to get carried away with lust.

Woman on top is a satisfying position for both partners. The woman can control the depth, speed and angle at which her man enters her, which makes her much more likely to have the pleasure of an orgasm during intercourse. And of course she can stimulate herself as she likes during lovemaking, which adds to the chance of her reaching a climax during sex. So why isn’t this position as popular as man on top? I think the answer lies in our preconceived roles of how men and women should act during sex; that is to say, we tend to think the man must lead, initiate and dominate during sex, and the woman must be the “receiving” partner, be less assertive, act more passively, take a more “receptive” role. When a woman’s on top, she has the chance to reverse these roles, to lead and to control the pace of sex; but although this may be exciting once in a while, it may be too much against our established view of sex roles for us to feel comfortable with it if we were to use it all the time. Woman on top therefore remains a treat which couples enjoy from time to time as a variation on the established pattern of sex.

So man on top sex remains the favorite sex position of almost everyone – despite what people claim in surveys! It’s certainly a very satisfying experience for both partners, and as I mentioned above it is indeed the sex position which most couples use more often than any other. Why? Well, it’s very easy to get into, it’s relaxing for the woman, who can enjoy the sense of her man entering her and making love, there’s lots of opportunity for eye contact, plenty of bodily contact and usually deep penetration, and there’s also the romance and pleasure of kissing. For the man, there is the satisfaction of deep penetration, powerful thrusts, and perhaps a slight sense of dominance over his partner – I suspect this is important to many men, and it allows the woman in turn to enjoy a sense of being dominated by a loved and trusted partner. To sum this up – it feels good for both the man and the woman! And of course in some variations of the man on top position, it is possible to see the most intimate details of your lovemaking, so you can enjoy seeing the most intimate connection between you and your partner. For many a man, there’s no better moment in sex than that of pushing into his partner in the man on top position, watching her reaction as she feels the wonderful sensation of being so intimately connected to her partner, of being “taken” by her lover. There’s a profundity to this connection which defies words, and in my opinion man on top sex fulfils some very basic and deep instincts for both men and women. It brings out the masculine in men, and the feminine in women – in short, it reinforces our sexual sense of self.

Perhaps the greatest thing about man on top is the deep connection that can develop between a couple. One drawback is that the deep penetration and pelvic thrusts open to a man can make him reach his orgasm quickly, though this can be controlled if a couple slow down the pace of sex for a while to allow his arousal to drop. Once in a while a couple may agree to have a quickie, a session of lovemaking where the man just goes for his pleasure, with the agreement and support of his partner – a no-frills session of lovemaking, which satisfies his deep urges and allows him to enjoy himself without the need for much foreplay. This is a very satisfying thing for men, and if a couple can build this into their love life, it may encourage the man to spend time romancing and seducing his partner in the way she likes the next time they make love.

Side by side positions for sex are very much about slow, romantic, gentle lovemaking. They allow the partners to gaze into each other’s eyes, to have full body contact, and to enjoy the most intimate connection without the man reaching his orgasm too quickly. If you’re not already incorporating side by side sex into your lovemaking, why not start with the basic side by side position? Start making love in the man on top position and then roll over (without the man coming out of his partner), and you should be able to get yourself into a relaxing position on your sides. gentle lovemaking can then continue for as long as you like! You can talk, caress, rest and resume, going on for as long as you wish, until you both reach a very satisfying orgasm. And since either he or she can stimulate her clitoris, this might even be be a simultaneous orgasm – an experience well worth seeking out, as it’s more intense than coming separately.

You can see much more information on all these sex positions, and many more, on the excellent website Sex Techniques and Positions, and another superb website about intimate relationships called Sex and Relationships. It’s well worth having a look at these websites if

you’d like to know how to expand your sex life!

Tantric sex has many names in today’s culture: spiritual sex, sacred sexuality, spiritual union, and others. However, a common denominator in all these names is that they all relate to some level of spirituality.

Tantric sex is indeed related to your spiritual well-being because even though you are engaging in the sexual act, the purpose is not really to reach orgasm but to unite with your lover in ALL possible aspects. To put it simply, tantra lovemaking is not about intercourse per se, it’s about uniting or fusing together your bodies, and in the process connect with your partner in mind, body and spirit.

Tantric Sex History

Tantric sex has its roots in India some 4,000 years ago, where it was viewed as – what else – a spiritual tradition. It started to be known in the West in the early 1800s but it never really had a tremendously huge following.

However, in the late 1960s, a rebirth of the practice was reaching new heights in India and this led to its consequent re-emergence in Western culture. Today, tantric sex awakening is reaching an all-time high because you now also have such high profile couples advocating the benefits of tantric sex. For instance, when Sting mentioned on Oprah that he and his wife Trudie engage in tantric sex, which enable them to experience ‘five or six or seven hours of lovemaking’, the whole world wanted to find out what tantric sex is all about!

As mentioned, tantric sex is not just about ‘sex’, it involves many things: tantric breathing, tantric sexual massage, creating a scared tantric place, meditation, prolonging sexual intercourse, and even tantric after play. All of these have a special purpose in tantric lovemaking.

Tantric Sex vs. ‘Normal’ Sex

The main difference between tantric sex and lovemaking as we commonly view it today is this: reaching an orgasm. With regular sex, you have a goal – to reach your climax and that’s it. However, since men and women have different needs, more often than not, one of them (mostly women) do NOT reach their sexual goal (climaxing) and so there is a lot of pent up sexual frustration in today’s relationships. It is thus no wonder that a lot of relationships have underlying stresses.

Consider these common scenarios.

- He reaches his orgasm but she never does, resulting in sexual frustration for her.

- He’s a very caring guy and wants her to experience sexual pleasure but it takes her a long time to ‘come’ and so it’s building up performance anxiety and sexual frustration for him.

In contrast, Tantric sex is not about reaching an orgasm. It’s about union. The main purpose is to connect with your lover in all aspects: heart, mind, body and soul. Does this mean you don’t reach an orgasm with Tantric lovemaking? Of course not!

On the contrary, Tantric sex practitioners swear that they have never had more body-rocking and mind-blowing orgasms before they tuned into to Tantra sex. So don’t worry; you’re in for A LOT of sexual pleasure with this form of spirituality.

Getting Started with Tantric Sex

The best way to get started with Tantric sex is to start slowly. Begin by viewing your sex partner in a different light. Try to see her as a goddess, a sexual playmate that you hold in the highest regard, and that making love to her is not just about physical pleasure in your groin area but about ecstasy in all aspects of your being.

Try this exercise: get a piece of paper and list down all the beautiful qualities or everything you like about your woman. Some men like to list down everything, even ‘great cook!’ or ‘best woman driver I know’ because, according to them, it helps them appreciate her more. Others, however, prefer to just list down sexually-related aspects such as ‘I love how her hair sways when she’s on top of me’, or ‘she has the best looking ass I know’. Write down whatever aspect you feel like listing that will make you see her in a whole new light. Whatever works for you!

After creating your list, look over it and then close your eyes and revel in each of these qualities. Now, picture making love to her. Don’t you see her now more than just someone to reach an orgasm with?

Lastly, people who engage in Tantric sex love it because ‘things just keep on getting better’. Tantric lovemaking believes in this doctrine: practice, practice, practice! Yet at the same time, Tantric sex provides immediate improvements in your sex and spiritual life. So go try it. You have nothing to lose and so much to gain.

Every couple has one thing that they seem to fight (or at least disagree) about over and over again. For some, couples, the big struggle is how to raise the children, how to spend their money or how much time they should spend together. One of the biggest problems that couples experience is with sex or intimacy.

The way most people think, men only think about sex. I’m sure you’ve heard the bogus statistic that the average man thinks about sex every ten seconds, and these types of things that get passed on just seem to set the stereotype in. On the other hand, it often is said that women want to talk about love and intimacy, but could live without sex. This stereotype is reinforced by soap operas and romance novels which are marketed at women, and have a whole lot of romance, but usually aren’t filled with a bunch of sex.

But when the bedroom doors close or people aren’t looking, you’ll find that these stereotypes are shattered. There are so many men that want to talk about their feelings and intimacy, while women just want passionate sex or even sex with no strings attached. Repeating stereotypes is not what we want to do here, because for every example you give, you can definitely find ten people who break the mold.

Let’s forget about stereotypes and work to help out our relationship instead. You don’t have to be an expert in marriage or sex to understand enough to help your relationship.

What are Sex and Intimacy?

Maybe we need to define intimacy and sex before we go any further. What is sex and what it intimacy? Some people say that sex and intimacy aren’t the same, that they have the different definitions; other might say that they are the same. If you would ask your partner this question would they answer it the same way as you would? Is kissing defined as sex, intimacy or other? What about talking dirty to each other, masturbation and having sex?

If you’ve know what your marriage blueprint is, you may realize that this affects your feelings on the subject more than whether you are a man or woman. It doesn’t matter if you are a woman or a man, if you are a ‘wild thing’, you want your sexual freedom, and sex and intimacy could be described as one. You love getting naked, and don’t want any rules or talking with your partner.

If both partners in the relationship are wild things, the relationship will go smoothly as far as sex and intimacy go. But what happens if you and your partner have different ideas on what sex and intimacy involve. Can a relationship between a carefree wild thing and a pilgrim (who are often guided by their religious beliefs) work?

How does your religion shape your beliefs on sex, passion and romance? If you grew up thinking that sex was dirty or something that should only be done to create children, you probably can find beliefs of that in your relationships today. If, while growing up, you rebelled against that belief, you could be someone who is very open sexually. But if you just let that belief sink in, you may still be a bit more conservative when it comes to sex.

Should you change the way that you think to please your partner? Look at this example of a couple, and tell me what you think:

Mike wants his wife, Andrea to try to have anal sex with him. Andrea doesn’t like the idea, because she thinks that it is dirty and humiliating. She also adds that there aren’t any reasons to do it, and that it wouldn’t add anything to the relationship. What do you think? Can this add intimacy to their relationship, or will Mike harm his relationship by trying to change it.

What should couples do if they are disagreeing with their partner with their level of sex or intimacy? If one person wants to bring in an additional person for one wild night once in a while and the other is totally adamant about it, what can you do?

Sex therapy is simply therapy that specifically addresses sexual problems. A sex therapist can be considered a specialist in the general field of therapy in the same way that a urologist is considered a specialist in the general field of medicine. Though the practice of sex therapy varies widely, most of these specialists have the following in common.

Sex therapy is typically a short term (6 to 15 weeks) solution focused intervention. Solution focused means that there are concrete goals with which to gauge progress, that there is a conscious utilization of client’s strengths, and that homework assignments are utilized to encourage active steps toward one’s goals.

While more general relationship issues are an integral part of sex therapy, they are not the primary issue. Sex therapists treat the sexual problem directly as opposed to assuming that if a couple resolves their other relationship issues, their sexual functioning will eventually improve. Since relationship issues are an integral part of sex therapy, and often one of the dynamics that perpetuates the sexual problem, couples who meet their goals in sex therapy invariably improve functioning in other areas of their relationship as well. When relationship issues are the primary problem (difficulty negotiating conflict, difficulty negotiating value systems, difference in attachment styles, etc.), then more traditional couples therapy is more appropriate. 

Sex therapy is a process grounded in the science of sexuality, called sexology, not in the ideology or morality of our culture. Our world is filled with judgments about what sexual behavior is “normal” or acceptable. As long as nobody’s basic rights are being violated, a sex therapist strives to be nonjudgmental, with the intent of helping a couple meet their goals from within their own value system. A sex therapist can provide information about what behaviors are statistically common and uncommon, and can help a client explore their own value system, but cannot decide for the client what behaviors are morally acceptable.

One of the assumptions of sex therapy is that physical intimacy is a natural process and drive for couples. If there’s a problem with how this drive plays out in the relationship, it’s further assumed that “roadblocks” have developed that are impeding the couple’s natural process. The role of sex therapy is to identify and assist with the resolution or management of these roadblocks such that the couple is free to do what comes naturally. Common (and simplified) examples of roadblocks include anxiety related to sexuality, feelings of rejection, or other emotions that impede a man or woman’s ability to be intimate. Specific medical problems can lead to the formation of roadblocks if a couple is not able to adjust to changes in sexuality that accompany the medical problem. Difficulty with sexual communication is probably the most common roadblock, but one that couples overcome regularly in sex therapy.

Sex therapy is talk therapy. There is no sexual touching during sessions. Typically there will be assignments given that will expose a couple’s roadblocks and provide an opportunity for resolution. Since the experiential part of improving one’s sex life always happens outside of sessions, it’s critical that couples are able to complete the exercises. Though sex therapy is typically a very successful intervention, consistently not completing homework assignments is the number one cause of treatment failure.

Sex therapy is almost always done in the context of a couple’s relationship, with both partners involved in the therapeutic process. One of the sayings in sex therapy is that “it doesn’t matter who brought the problem to the relationship, the solution always lies with the couple.” It’s also invariably the case that both partners have a role in maintaining whatever roadblock exists, and thus it’s important that both partners be an active part of the solution. In certain situations it’s appropriate to do sex therapy in the context of seeing an individual; this is the case if someone does not have a partner, or if a person’s struggle with their own sexuality is significant enough that they need to get some resolution personally before they can be available to their partner. In any case, a sex therapist can help the client identify the setting that’s likely to be most beneficial.